To be inspired and seek perfection

For the past week or so I have had a few sentences floating through my mind as if they’re forming a conversation between two people. I can’t help but wonder if I’ve heard them somewhere and my subconscious, bless its cotton socks, remembered them or if they are indeed a so-called original thought I have created. I’ll give them to you now and hopefully you might recognise them and tell me where they come from, if not, well look out notebook because I have a mega-idea for you!

Thanks for seeing me. I can’t help it. You’re standing in front of me. You’re the worst apologiser ever.

So??

If you don’t recognise them that’s OK, I won’t mind. (Gosh, the language setting on WordPress are really trying to push me to Americanise my Australian English, “recognise” currently has a red line under it because the “s” is not a “z” – no offence to my American friends but the “-ize” suffixes seem unusal but you probs think that about the “-ise” I use).

Anyway, following a post a few days back or sometime longer ago about John Keats’ “Bright Star” I made this following note the other day:

I wonder where Keats was when he began composing his poems in his mind? He like many other writers before and since probably thought what he wrote was ridiculous and he probably couldn’t comprehend why people enjoyed it. But the sheer pleasure he got from writing must have, as I can understand, sustained him. So I wonder what inspired him?

I have thought that Keats was inspired by perfection and as such he tried so hard to make his poems perfect thus he died thinking himself a failure.

Perhaps, I have also now just wondered, that’s why I began this post with asking you to see if you can recall those words from some movie or book et cetera. I want to make sure that if they are not from any such medium other than my brain that they are pure words and untainted. I want my writing to not only mean something but to be as perfect as I can make it. 

You may find this bizarre but I often escape sleep and somehow the night by staying awake to read through all the notes I made over the day and correcting them, editing them, adding notes to the notes and what have you. At the moment, as a careful reader of my blog will know, I am beginning a second project (super excitement!). Unlike the first, and any other half-finished project that came before the first, I am this time handwriting the entire thing. Previously I would take all my notes by hand but expand them on the computer – so the work was kind of handwritten but not to the extent that I have found myself wanting to take it to now.  

I guess I want to make sure it is perfect. It is pure. I am trying to slow down. I also have a feeling I have said before that I write all my drafts by hand before typing, but I think that’s a misrepresentation on my behalf. Just as I think the first project I have recently finished is a misrepresentation of myself.

That’s why I shall do what I have always wanted to do.

 

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